


The waves and depths

by The_Hanged_Man



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: FFxivWrite 2020, Other, i dont even like emet i just really like hythlodaeus, no beta babyyy, prompt: sway, the most self-indulgent thing you'll ever read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:35:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26274193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Hanged_Man/pseuds/The_Hanged_Man
Summary: The waves above could not answer his questions, and the depths below were always deaf to his plights. He knew he would not get his answers.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	The waves and depths

**Author's Note:**

> ok ok ok my first fic on ao3 and just in a long time in general  
> also english isnt my first language so please be nice to me.  
> when does this happen? who tf knows  
> if youre wondering how self-indulgent this thing is just imagine the most self-indulgent thing you could think of and then multiply by ten and youd come close. if you see any mistakes dont be afraid to point them out. also open for criticism, BUT GENTLY, please. thank you! hope youll like this one

The sound of Emet-Selch's steps echoed through the empty streets of Amaurot. He was lost in thought, holding his hands behind his back, head tilted slightly to the ground under the weight of a frown that seemed to be so heavy that it made the ascian bend his back.

His eyes were wandering as if he was not looking at a simple tiled road beneath his feet. His mind was far away in time and space, staring into the faces of friends who once walked these streets with him. Now it was just him and the elusive Elidibus, who never thought kindly of him.

Hades looked into every face that passed him, even though he knew they were only mere ghosts of his own making. Some faces were perfectly remembered - down to the cracks on their masks, little smiles they so often wore and stray strands of hair, but others... Others were starting to get hazy, or already were, and Emet-Selch, to his own horror, could barely recognize them. He promised himself to remember, he promised them to remember, to make others remember, that is why he had cast this shadow of a blinding Amaurot upon this wretched realm's seafloor in the first place. And yet, despite his resolve to fulfill the promise, it was crumbling and slipping away, like sand through fingers. Emet-Selch clenched his teeth at the thought.

\- Oh my, if it isn't Emet-Selch himself! - echoed a much missed and feared voice. The smile could be easily heard. - I was wondering when you would visit my little corner. Came to visit your old friend?

Hades flinched as if punched in the gut, and started to walk faster. To his disdain, the barely heard ghostly footsteps behind also sped up.

\- Do not be like this! You never visit me! And you have been so terribly busy since Azem showed up again...

At that, Emet-Selch stopped, unable to move because of all-consuming rage bubbling in his throat as if he was about to spit fire instead of words. He sharply turned to a shadow of his companion, eyes blazing with fury.

\- Don't you dare call them that. They are not Azem. They are a pathetic shadow that struggles against the inevitable light, nothing more. Never compare them to Azem and their...

Hythlodaeus smiled when Hades had fallen silent, struggling to pick a word.

\- Their what? Radiance? Inner glow? - the words were brimming with mischief and Emet-Selch could almost forget that what stood before him was not his trusted friend. The longing in his chest deepened and almost bled.

\- I really should have remade you and corrected my mistake. - Hades spit out, turning his back to _not_ -Hythlodaeus and slowly continuing walking.

 _Not_ -Hythlodaeus effortlessly caught up, lightly stepping beside their friend. It seemed they were set on continuing to pester Hades. He felt himself slouch even more, almost trying to hide from his companion, but quickly straightened up. The ghost was not his friend, Emet-Selch kept reminding himself. Hythlodaeus was not there. The reminder left a bitter taste in his mouth.

\- You are right, they are not Azem. - thoughtfully sighed his own broken memory, mimicking Emet-Selch's pose. - But they are also more Azem than ever. The similarity is uncanny. If they would tell me the stories of their adventures, you wouldn't be able to convince me that it isn't them. Ahhh, remember those stories?

Something in the broken memory's voice was so familiar, it echoed in Hade's chest. It tugged and pulled and the memories slowly crawled across his mind, flaunting the laughter and happiness. Of course, he remembered, how could he not? Those stories were some of the only things still feeding the fire of his resolve. Those were the reminders of why he does what he must.

And yet they burned and sweetly tortured him, beckoning him in the times long past.

\- Why are you doing this to me? - asked Emet-Selch through clenched teeth, still forging forward. - Why torture me like this? You are my own memory, are you not?

Hades' voice was rising with each word.

\- You know as well as I do that you will never be Hythlodaeus and that the vaunted Warrior of Darkness, - he spit the words out like they were a curse. - will never be Azem. Why do you keep doing this to me, every day of your fragmented existence? Are you my punishment? Is this the price I must pay for putting our shattered world back together?

He turned around to face _Not_ -Hythlodaeus and they stood there, looking down on him in their large cloaked form. They bowed their head slightly as if humbled by his words. They were as a statute - unmoving, cold, but with a deep sorrow etched in the mouth and the fuzzying edges. Emet-Selch took a step back, unable to tear his gaze away from a long missed visage.

The waves above could not answer his questions, and the depths below were always deaf to his plights. He knew he would not get his answers.

But his friend slowly lowered themself to be closer to his eye level. They gently raised their hand and almost touched Emet-Selch's cheek, but could not, as if there was an invisible wall between them. They allowed their hand to fall to their side.

\- Were you not the one who created me? - they spoke softly and their voice rang with a clarity no other voice in Amaurot possessed. - Tell me, then, why did you put me in your Amaurot? Why didn't you erase the mistake you've made with me? Did you want to punish yourself by my hands?

Hades scoffed and rolled his eyes at the idea. He felt something in his chest tighten with every word said by this voice and with that face full of worry and sadness.

\- Then why? - gently asked Hythlodaeus, finding the courage to gently brush a strand of white hair away from Emet-Selch's face, lingering on his cheekbone. - You know the true answer. Stop running away from it.

They stood there, unmoving, for a couple of moments, simply looking at each other. One part of Emet-Selch longed for this moment to be true so much that it made him believe that his friend stood before him in the flesh. The other part could not bear to see this farce, to look into the forgotten eyes of the vision before him, because it knew too well that it was a lie.

He felt like he was being shattered, one shard smaller and more brittle than the other.

Hythlodaeus smiled.

\- Do you remember how Azem once returned with that strange song? They could never stop humming it. - the smile in their voice was bittersweet, the memories immediately flashed before Hades' eyes, and something burst inside of him. He breathed a shaky breath and closed his eyes. His friend's smile became his own. - Could you remind me how it went? It seems to just slip my mind every time.

Hades shook his head, taking the other's hand in his own. He started humming the song that was too familiar. Maybe he was allowed just once to fool himself into believing the impossible. Just this evening, with waves above and the depths below swaying with him, Hades believed that his dear friend was with him, humming along and laughing when they stumbled.

Emet-Selch allowed his form to expand to Hythlodaeus' size, and his friend immediately swept him into an awkward dance.

The waves and depths were quiet. The only sound echoing through the dark streets of Amaurot was their sweet song.


End file.
